Fear of Failing Found Flawed

In our lives we are afraid of many things, and we each have our way of dealing with them. But I have a theory about fear. You see fear is really a lie.

Let me show you the evidence that I found through my extensive investigation.

It first started when I was in school; I was not the brightest student. I was usually a member of the ‘slow group’ and was not as far on as the others. In that group were the usual suspects – “I can’t do it miss”, It’s too difficult for me”, or “Can we do something a little easier?” One day I woke up and decided that I was not going to talk like this any more; the majority is not always the best side to take. If I was going to be in the slowest group then I was going to be the fastest in that group and I CAN so whatever they give me. Now it wasn’t an instant solution and the effects of it went unnoticed by me for quite some time.

French class “He’s too slow with his other work, learning French would only confuse him even more!” – is what they would say; so they took me out of French class and gave me extra math and English.

Career Councilor – basically someone who asks you to tick some questions then puts it into a computer (emphasis on the computer doing most of the thinking and the councilor just doing the putting part) then taking out the results from the computer and then telling me that I should become a doctor – causing half the teaching staff present to faint. Then off to another career councilor for a second opinion (requested by my principal) to find out that I should stay away from anything ‘academic’ and find a job lifting boxes or licking stamps (much to the approval to the half that fainted).

Science Class – before this day I liked science and I liked the science teacher too, this was about to take a 180. On a study of the human body and how it’s built up the science teacher Mr. H (I’m not that cruel) made a comment that fat can be turned into muscle (without telling us how) then another smart ass (who I also wont name) said, “So Andrew could turn all that fat into muscle?”,

My lovely science teacher replied “Fat chance of that happening!”

That is when I stopped liking science and the science teacher too.

Now the evidence! Fear of not being able to change looms over us all and experiences have been burned into our psychosis that we should try and will fail if we do try. This I have found out is not the truth, and further more this fear is not as big as it seams. Let me explain;

Since leaving school I spend a short ‘unchallenged’ stint working in a supermarket packing shelves. Ok I will say this quick so try to catch up; I went to an interview for an IT position and DIDN’T EXACTLY TELL THE TRUTH, so to speak. I got the job knowing very little about computers and it became a game of sink or swim. And I swam, and swam and kept swimming through 3 top IT companies (including the big one that starts with an M and is usually hyphened MS). Then I got bored with looking at the screen all day and wanted to get into teaching as I am a real people person. I have now been teaching elementary English for the last five years.

Can we have applause for slow groups and career councilors please? Thank you!

The next mysterious event that has lead me to believe that fear of failing is flawed was in 2002 when I made my journey across the world to Indonesia. Lovely country, but they don’t speak English even when they do speak English. (Joking, some of my Indonesian friends speak English very well)

I couldn’t speak a word of Indonesian at all! Ok to keep this post from turning into a novel (prize wining) I’ll cut the story short. After 6 months I could communicate rather effectively with Indonesian. Now in 2008 I can speak fluent Indonesian.

Can you see the pattern? Can we have a round of applause for French Teachers please? Thank you!

Now the darn science teacher’s going to get one too! This is currently under progress. And when I am finished I am going to stick it were the sun doesn’t shine, on my BLOG, where else doesn’t the sun shine?!

So I have concluded that if you take a step up and hug your fears of failing then you too will find them flawed and it will disintegrate before your very eyes. So my friend you need to push forward passed your fears of failing and YOU WILL SUCCEED!


P.s. This post is best read using the voice of Agent Smith from the Matrix.

My School Years – North Atlantic Sea benefits, Bulling & Inner Healing

Growing up larger than life and any cars in the vicinity has many drawbacks; I think the only benefit of being fat is that you would last 4 seconds longer than anyone else if you fell into the North Atlantic Sea. Being that I never ventured that far north I felt completely useless.

I think the only thing that I can be angry at and blame others or the system is the lack of proper education that I (we) received about how our bodies worked. P.E. for example consisted of running back and forth in a slippy, squeaky gym hall then trying to get my backside up a rope that would probably come undone from it’s fittings if I had ever reached the top.

I mean there was no education about eating food groups, sugar turns to fat, good & bad carbs, protein, muscle burns calories to maintain its self, oatmeal is good for you, etc …… my fat generation were just put in shorts and made turn red for the amusement of others. Oh I’m turning into a right bee with an itch.

I just hope that he coming generation are being educated properly and that not all P.E. lessons are in the gym but in the class as well being told simple ways to live a healthy live. Surly that wont brake the education budget at most schools.

My School years were mostly spent on my own. Fat kids are excluded like lepers, picked last for soccer and first for rugby to be the team bulldozer. I don’t feel that I am still hurting from my school years though; my wife has played a big part in my healing from that. She looks past all my blubber and sees me. ::awwhhh:: ….. I’m excepted and loved, that can heal the most wounded hearts.

My school hell is a distant haze that feels like I read about it somewhere. I was spat on, bullied for money, beat up, pinned down while food was forced into my mouth, made the clown while having to strip down for swimming class, bearing my man boobs 😦 ::sniff, sniff::

I don’t feel bitter about this and I have forgotten all about this after I met Susan and got married. Writing this blog is the first time in ages that I have even thought about it.

Time is a great healer, so is being excepted.

Now for the first time in my life I am battling my weight for me….. not to fit in…. not to be liked or accepted, not to be the majority, but because I want to….. I am doing this for me.

And I will win and I hope that I can educate and inspire others.

Come on, Get up and get educated and get a life that you can live without regret!!